Well, 2020, this essay topic that comes about every last few days of the year.. this one in particular, if I learned anything this year, all truly toxically insightful, yet cruel, defiantly bombarding, and angering for good reason.
I say that to say this....it’s not that 2020 didn’t bring me some positivity in aspects of my life 2020, but you have made it incredibly hard for me to feel like I deserve all my new blessings with the amount of losses I’ve taken in the most FUCKED up of ways.
Let’s talk about how we started the year, 2020. It wasn’t the cancer moon, or the speculation of coronavirus or the fact it took fucking Kobe Bryant from the world along with his daughter and 7 other people in a helicopter crash. It wasn’t even the political backlash, the uprising of Black Lives Matter, the rediscovery and power to take back what is ours as Black and BIPOC people. It wasn’t even the awareness of police brutality, racism, injustice, etc. It wasn’t the masks. It wasn’t the deaths. It wasn’t even the fact that most of us learned to live off of NOTHING out of NECESSITY.
It was how cold, brutal, blunt, and unnecessarily stressful it was to know that deep down, truly admitting, that 2020 was somehow the best year GROWTH WISE ever. We forgot how pivotal and vital it is to USE WHAT WE HAVE! And, to be grateful for what we have because we could seriously lose it all in a matter of seconds.
I feel refreshed going into my Saturn Return in Aquarius knowing the battles I fought publicly, privately, and internally. I feel like 2021 is going to be as equally trying but more balanced and sound.
I don’t feel the ties that once plagued me, haunted me, and devoured me. I feel like 2020 taught me to budget and feed where I belong vs where I never could have. I learned that all that glitters isn’t gold, that down time still meant work in other places that need attention like moods, attitude, etc., and service where I never would’ve thought needed my help or input.
This year has brought me:
Closer to Santísima Muerte
Honesty
Rebirth
Understanding
Growing pains in both my personal life and marriage.
The ability to focus on what I love with my Tarot & spiritual practice & business.
Aside from all that though, I would never do this year ever again because this was too much for my Gemini moon ass to handle.
Thank you for all the blessings & teachings. It’s been REAL, 2020!