My conscious is clear, although my heart still pains. To accept an apology that will never be given is still a hard pill to swallow. To work through hatred, to work through love, to work through the fluctuation of emotions to level my heart & release the pain in my upper back….the process begins.
And yet, I feel free. I am happy. I am on top of the world.
I miss you, but I don’t want to show you. Because if I show you, then you’ll never learn what it’s like to have the parts of you that you thought I loved unearthed from your being in vulnerability.
“Because you shouldn’t have to dangle the carrot in front of my face like if I’m starving for your love.”
Them: “I wouldn’t have this if it wasn’t for you.”
Me: “I would have it regardless of you.”
“I will be okay. That is a promise. That is a threat. And it will be out of spite.”
Read MoreIt was how cold, brutal, blunt, and unnecessarily stressful it was to know that deep down, truly admitting, that 2020 was somehow the best year GROWTH WISE ever. We forgot how pivotal and vital it is to USE WHAT WE HAVE! And, to be grateful for what we have because we could seriously lose it all in a matter of seconds.
Read More“You work so hard just to end up at home, crying yourself to sleep; remember you’re trying. You are moving mountains that have plagued you since you were young, and you’re trying so hard.“
Read MoreYou gave me a new family dynamic....that makes me appreciate my family, especially my parents, so much more.
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