December 11th, 2021 while doing a diamond painting, I couldn’t grasp my head around a few things about the reality of what’s transpired over 20+ years on my mother’s side of the family. I know in a lot of my writing I reference this side. It’s the wounded side, so I need to work on this with myself. But I couldn’t grasp a few things, and wrote them down…

• All of the women in my direct bloodline maternally are divorced.

  • Why is this uneasy for me?

  • Why is this unsettling for me?

  • Why does it feel worse for me now because I am someone’s wife?

  • How do I break the cycle?

  • What traits do I possess that could potentially exert the same energy?

But then the question came up…

1. Where did the men they marry fall short?

2. Should they have fought harder?

3. Did they abandon their kids?

4. Were they really ever supposed to be together?

5. How did their parents fail them or set them up for failure in their marriages?

Although I have my own thoughts and feelings about these things…it’s sad to feel like the line is tainted & things are inevitable when there is 10 grandchildren who now see life for what it is, for what we think and/or thought it is/was, and now see all parties without their masks…..because we are no longer children.

We are adult offspring that can handle the truth.

Now, to get them all to speak the truth without thinking they are hurting our feelings or that we will see them differently….when they still got us….here.