"I am Diosa" Prompt 7-1: Soulwork

• Am I moving closer to the woman I want to be or further away from the woman I want to be? I believe at this point in my life, I am moving closer. Even when I believe I took 2 steps back, I am actually moving 2 steps forward. As long as I keep faith and I continue to handle MY business, I will always be moving closer to the woman I want to be.

• Is this bringing me closer to my soul or further away? Sometimes, I feel it brings me closer as a re-evaluation on things that still need mending, however, I feel sometimes they keep me stagnant from my soul and the growth it needs to be connected to me as a human being.

"I am Diosa" Prompt 6 : Soulwork

1. What is the situation that usually triggers the most confusion when trusting yourself? The situation that usually triggers the most confusion for me when trusting myself is when I anger someone, I always feel like they will leave me or abandon me because I can’t and don’t usually trust that my true self is the self they will love regardless. This is usually triggered because growing up, I was always compared against my cousins (first and second cousins) and then judged for things that were no one’s business.

2. What is the feeling in your body when you know that you are in alignment with your gut? When I know I am in alignment with my guy I know I am at complete ease, no tension in my body, I stand tall in how I feel, and I usually will pressure that it is right outwardly.

3. What is a self-soothing technique you can do to get yourself in a state of neutrality to hear your intuition? The self-soothing technique I do to get myself in the state of neutrality to hear my intuition is to call upon the Lord and La Santisima Muerte through prayer to give me guidance or a sign and to breath my way down to calm myself in order to feel my intuition come through.

And to remind myself that you were just a karmic.

And that I will not label myself not a victim.

But you are still a danger to yourself and everyone around you.

And I hope the next person you harm the way you did me has the balls to put you where you belong…

IN THE FUCKING GROUND.

3 more years until my skin will only be my husband’s and it won’t remember you.

"I am Diosa" Prompt 5: Soulwork

1. What is the wound?
   Not fitting into any real social group especially in the workplace which affects my finances…

2. What is the medicine on the other side?

   Learning when things have served its purpose for you and that money will always come when you need it, not when you want it.

3. How did you grow from the experience?

   I grew to love and accept that I am full of prosperity and abundance. My talents will always help me get by and I am never truly alone. The right people and social circles will always find me.

4. What was the part of your personality that matured as a result of the situation?

   The part of me that has matured is learning to stand on my own two feet after making life altering decisions.

December 11th, 2021 while doing a diamond painting, I couldn’t grasp my head around a few things about the reality of what’s transpired over 20+ years on my mother’s side of the family. I know in a lot of my writing I reference this side. It’s the wounded side, so I need to work on this with myself. But I couldn’t grasp a few things, and wrote them down…

• All of the women in my direct bloodline maternally are divorced.

  • Why is this uneasy for me?

  • Why is this unsettling for me?

  • Why does it feel worse for me now because I am someone’s wife?

  • How do I break the cycle?

  • What traits do I possess that could potentially exert the same energy?

But then the question came up…

1. Where did the men they marry fall short?

2. Should they have fought harder?

3. Did they abandon their kids?

4. Were they really ever supposed to be together?

5. How did their parents fail them or set them up for failure in their marriages?

Although I have my own thoughts and feelings about these things…it’s sad to feel like the line is tainted & things are inevitable when there is 10 grandchildren who now see life for what it is, for what we think and/or thought it is/was, and now see all parties without their masks…..because we are no longer children.

We are adult offspring that can handle the truth.

Now, to get them all to speak the truth without thinking they are hurting our feelings or that we will see them differently….when they still got us….here.